I have this ring that I wear on my left thumb. I got it from my mom as a Christmas present, when I was 17. The ring says “faith, love, hope”. I’m not sure why but the words “love” and “faith” always meant more to me than “hope”. Maybe it was because “love” was one I thought I understood and “faith” was one that interested me. However, the word “hope,” I use to think was a silly word to put on a ring. I would literally rotate the ring on my finger if “hope” was the word that was showing. It seems ridiculous now looking back at it but… that was literally my reality until a couple of years ago. Honestly, I think I did that not because it was a silly word to me, by definition… but because I didn’t know what it meant and I didn’t know how to figure it out. I think it was honestly just one of those lessons I needed to learn on my own, with the Lord. Well, let me tell ya… I’m so glad he’s taught me the lesson of hope and I want to share with who ever is reading this what “hope” now means to me and my process of coming to understand it. Hope has gone from being just a word I wanted to rotate out of my life because I was intimidated by it, to something that I now cling to and think about often. Something that is far bigger than just a word. I learned that the earthly definition of “hope” that I knew is so much different from the heavenly hope we get to inherit from our good and faithful father.
Before I jump into what I’ve learned about hope and what it means to me, let me give you a little back story and let you in on some of my processes. There were a few things the Lord had me learn and process through first, before He got me to the point of understanding and having hope. One of those things is literally so simple; however, knowing something is true and fully believing it are two separate things. For me, I can say I fully believe in this truth now but that wasn’t always the case. That truth being, that the Lord is good and He’s so good to each of us! Getting to a place of believing the Lord is good and that His intentions towards me ARE GOOD is what made my faith stronger. Now through my faith, I get to hold onto that truth and the hope that the lord gives me in it. Another thing He taught me a whole lot about which led me to hope, was waiting. It was in the season of waiting where I would question God and he’s intentions towards me because I didn’t understand my circumstances. I wanted to see the purpose as to why my circumstances were the way they were and why I had to face so many trials that were hard. However, it’s living by faith and not by sight, what he calls us to do. “For we walk by faith, not by sight” 2 Corinthians 5:7 ESV. It was through the waiting where my faith and hope and dependency on the Lord grew. It was the waiting that made me stronger in my faith and deepened my relationship and intimacy with the Lord. A verse the Lord brought me back to a lot was Isaiah 40:31. “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” Isaiah 40:31 ESV. He WILL strengthen you if you wait on him. Waiting can be long and require a lot of patients and trust. But to know that the Lord is renewing our strength through our waiting, gives me so much peace and hope. He will keep you moving forward and in the right direction if you rely on Him to show you the way and trust that He will strengthen you even when you feel weak. Remember, His intentions towards us are ALWAYS good. Even though the waiting can be hard and you may not understand the “why” or you might be asking Him “how much longer”, hold onto hope that His timing is perfect and He is doing everything for your good. Something someone told me last year that stuck with me is that the Lord has our BEST interest. He literally does everything for OUR GOOD. Even through the hard times in life, the circumstances we have to work through and the trials we’ll face, He uses those for our good and we will benefit from them. He is a good shepherd and He would never lead us astray. He doesn’t take us through trails that we wont gain something good out of it. These trials are meant to grow our faith and trust in the Lord, not hurt us. For me, my season of waiting wasn’t/isn’t easy but I can say it’s 100% worth it. He is truly our provision and He is kind and gentle with us, even in our trials and waiting. Just because something is “good” doesn’t mean it’s going to be “easy”. God doesn’t promise us an easy life. But if we follow Jesus he will bring good things our way, we just have to trust in him and have hope through our faith. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
There were two stories from the Bible that the Lord used in my life a lot over the last 6 months. The first story I’m going to talk about is the story in Exodus where God leads Israel out of Egypt. He takes them on a journey through the wilderness and into the promise land. In a lot of ways I felt like I was walking through a wilderness season. I needed God a lot in the wilderness and He was the only one I could truly depend on, just like the Israelites. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where the only thing we can do is cling to Jesus and depend on Him. It’s sometimes because of those harder situations where our eyes are opened to seeing Jesus in all of the little things our daily lives hold. We get to see just how exactly he’s providing for us. I feel like this is what happened to me. My eyes were opened to seeing the Lord’s provision over and over again, daily. It was during these moments where I gained hope. Just like He provided food and water for the Israelites when they needed it, he also provided me with hope and peace and joy when I needed it most. It was comforting to meet the Lord in these new ways and get to know Him deeper. Im super thankful for the harder months of waiting I had because without them, I’m not sure my dependency on the Lord would have grown as much as it did.
The other story the Lord used a lot in my life during this season, was the story of Abraham going to sacrifice Isaac in Genesis 22. In this story, God asks Abraham to take is only son Isaac and sacrifice Him as a burnt offering. Abraham did as God asked of Him all the way up until the point where he was about to slaughter Isaac. Then the Angel of the Lord spoke to him and told him to put his knife down and to not touch Isaac because it was clear to God that Abraham trusted and feared God even to the extent of not withholding his only son from Him. Then God provided a ram that was caught in the thicket for Abraham to sacrifice instead. I think this story brought me hope in what the Lord had for me in the future. I needed to be hopeful, like Abraham, in the process of following the Lord and trusting Him and His provision in my life. I also needed to be willing to sacrifice the things the Lord was asking me to sacrifice in following Him where He was leading me. Abraham’s fear of God and obedience really shifted the way I thought, in this season of waiting. I feel like I was trying my hardest to trust the Lord in sacrificing the things I needed to, but it didn’t make sense to me. It felt risky and hard to let go of certain things. However, I did believe the lord would be good through it all because of the hope He grew within me. I knew His provision would be enough and it would come in the perfect timing, just like the ram came to Abraham in the perfect timing.
Honestly, for me the things that are the hardest to sacrifice and lay down aren’t material items or even dreams I have. The hardest things for me to lay down are my fears and insecurities. But in order to step into trust and commit to following Jesus in this next season of my life, I know that laying those down (even if it feels hard and uncomfortable… which it does) is what I have to do. To tell you the truth, I have to wake up every day and consciously lay down these fears and insecurities. It’s a daily surrender that does get easier the more my trust in the Lord grows; but I’m also not perfect so of course I have days where it seems harder for me to lay these things down. A lot of times it’s a mental battle and they are thoughts I need to let go of. It also can be made up scenarios in my head because of my fears and insecurities of the unknown. Sometimes it’s really hard for me to fight the battle between my ears but, the Lord is bigger than that battle and He is kind and gentle in helping me fight it. He would always bring me back to his truth and who I am in Him. I felt like He was always gently pulling me back onto the right path and off of the path that could lead me into darkness if I allowed it. The verse that he made so real in my life through the waiting and in the unknown was Philippians 4:7 ESV, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” He truly gave me peace that didn’t make sense. Peace in the unknown, peace in not understanding my circumstances and peace in sacrificing what he was asking me to lay down in order to follow Him. His peace is such a gift and I think it is SO COOL that it’s something we ALL get to inherit from our father.
I realized through receiving this peace from the Lord, that my fears were all worldly. Through Jesus, we don’t have to fear. He actually tells us in Isaiah 41:10 to “fear not” because He is always with us. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” Isaiah 41:10 ESV. The fear I was experiencing was rooted in this world. The bigger fears I was facing was my fear of man and what people would think about me. I was reminded though, that I’m not here on this earth to live my life for others. But instead I’m here to live for an audience of one and that is my Heavenly Father. Through His peace and seeing His hand all over the process of where he was leading me next, I had hope that His plan for me is good. I did have to continue to remind myself though, that I’m not here to impress people or strive to have them approve of me or make them proud. The Lord is already proud of me and already approves of me and that’s not something I will ever have to strive for. I already have a seat at his table and that is not something that will be taken away from me because I’m “not good enough” or “I’m not doing enough”. My Heavenly Father has my BEST interest and loves me and with that, I don’t have to fear the unknown, my future or people here on earth. He wouldn’t lead me to do something if it was going to harm me because He is a good shepherd. However, there is a price that we all have to pay as Christian’s, to follow Jesus. He doesn’t promise us that life will be easy when we follow Him. Sometimes it is hard to follow and trust Jesus, but he will provide for you and bring fruit through your trust and obedience. Just like he did for the Israelites.
The dependency I needed was only found in one place, and that was in the sweet embrace of Jesus. The most trustworthy and good shepherd. Man, I just feel so blessed that we get the gift of relationship with our savior. The more I learn about His character and love, the more in awe I truly am of Him. Our savior loves each of us so much that we get to live a life of freedom, hope, joy and peace all because of His amazing grace and mercy.
I wanted to share with y’all a song I discovered a few months ago. I feel like this song spoke directly too me about the season I was walking through and also what I was learning. It helped me feel so seen and encouraged by the Lord And I hope that maybe it will be the same for someone else, too. The song is called Holding Onto Hope by Bryan and Katie Torwalt. If you haven’t listened to it before, I highly suggest that you do because it is beautiful! The lyrics go like this:
You said you’d work it out for good
And I knew you could
I knew you could
Didn’t look the way I thought it would
But I know you’re good
I know you’re good
And I knew you could
I knew you could
Didn’t look the way I thought it would
But I know you’re good
I know you’re good
I don’t have to understand
To know that you are kind
I don’t need to have the answers
To trust You through the night
I’ll rest here in the knowing
That I may never know
I’m holding on to faith
I’m holding on to hope
I’ve seen you heal I’ve heard you speak
Oh I believe
Oh I believe
When all feels lost and I can’t breath
Help me believe
Lord I Believe
Like wind upon the water
You can’t see until it blows
Like the prayers of our Fathers
As they overflow
My faith may be tested
But I know that I know
I’m holding onto faith
I’m holding onto hope
I don’t want to give y’all a long explanation as to why this song spoke directly to me… mainly because this blog is already long enough and I basically would be repeating what you just read. However, I will say that this season of waiting and where the Lord is leading me next, doesn’t look how I thought it would. Honestly, I’m not even sure I knew what I thought I‘d be doing lol. But I am sooo excited to step into what’s next. It’s going to be so good; I have hope in believing that.
I know you’re probably wondering ”what’s next” and trust me, I can’t wait to tell ya! But, I’m not going to tell you just yet because that deserves it’s own blog and explanation! 🙂 BUT… I will be sharing veryyyyy soon!
Thank you, for reading through this blog and for your interest in what the Lord’s been teaching me. Also, if you have questions, I’d love to share more with you through a text, phone call, email or voice memo (if you know me, you know I’m a biggggg voice memo fan). Just let me know!
Love y’all,
Brianne
Bri! Wow! Thank you so much for that reminder! It’s something needing to confront while grasping the next steps back in the states! I love that you’re continuing to see the fruit in patience, and then see the blessing not in your virtue, but His glory! Appreciate you, fam!
OOO SWEET FRIEND! Tears in my eyes. I love you and I love seeing what the Lord is doing in and through you. It is SO inspiring! Thank you for sharing !