My “Okay”

You know when you’re nervous about something and you have to respond to someone and all you can do is whisper your answer with a shaky voice? Well I’m gonna be completely honest… that was currently just me responding to God. I said “okay”. quietly. because I’m nervous. nervous about the unknown.

But why am I nervous? I shouldn’t be nervous. The Lord is so much bigger than me… duh! He also doesn’t need our help to move in our lives. He only needs our yes.. or shaky “okay” (I guess). 

Haha idk why I’m actually telling y’all this.

What was my “okay” to? Oh yeah, that’s important. I’m getting off (fasting from) social media starting tomorrow until Jan. 8th (the day I leave for the Race). I actually like social media fasts and The Lord has put this on my heart for awhile now. 2 months to be exact. yeahhhhh…. But, I’m pretty sure I’ve been arguing with God ever since then… hahahaaa! God set me straight though, don’t worryyyyy… (He always does that). I kept telling Him ” ugh, not now.. I will, but later. I have to fundraise right now”. That’s been my answer for the last 2 months. oops.

Today He really just hit me with “do the social media fast.” I asked “when? like 2 weeks from now? Or a month from now? when I’m on the Race? one of those right?” Nope. He said “tomorrow”…. and I was all “but God…. that’s so inconvenient. I still have to fundraise…”

Then…. He showed me that the reason I’m so nervous about this is because of my false idea that I have control. I don’t. God is the one in control. And then He told me “If I’m calling you to do something, do NOT worry.”

I’ve never really been a worrier but recently I have noticed I’ve been worried about fundraising. If I give it over to God there is no reason for me to be worried… but of course when I think I’m in control of my fundraising.. all alone, I’m probably going to be nervous.

Social media has been my main platform for fundraising so far, but that doesn’t mean it should be my only platform (right?). I guess The Lord just wants to get me outside of these fake bounderies I’ve placed on my fundraising and watch Him open up doors I never thought were possible… idk. That’s just what I think… I guess I’ll find out soon. 

The Lord has already provided in HUGE ways for me in the fundraising process and I know He’s not going to stop now. I’ve hit every fundraising goal (praise God) we’ve had so far and that was 100% because of Him. None of that had anything to do with me. Literally…. There’s actually a whole story behind me saying that… if you want to know about it, feel free to ask me, I’d love to tell you!

So here I am, 28 days (wow that’s cRaZy to say) before I leave for the Race, letting go of any idea I have of control in my life. God always wins the arguments hahaha. My “okay” is enough. I’m not going to lie though, I am nervous. But He is SO going to prove me wrong, I know it! He’s so faithful like that.  

Oh and before I end this blog, I just want to thank everyone. Thank you for the endless support. Whether that be financially, prayers, communication, or just simply taking the time to read my blogs. It really means a lot to me and I’m so thankful to have people like you in my life.

Much love, 

Brianne